Thursday, April 2, 2009

2009 Poet's Baseball Preview

The country is in depression,

I am unemployed and scrambling for work and yet there is hope on this second day of April because we are close to opening day.

This will be my 41th opening day being born in May I missed my first in 1967. It is a appropriate that I was born in that year because in 1967 the White Sox were in first place all summer only to lose at the end of the year setting a tone for my beloved Sox that would continue until 2005.

In Chicago where I live- we have two baseball teams. The Cubs whose fans are beautiful and whose most famous fan is Rod Blagojevich.

The Sox whose fans are a little mutilated but whose most famous fan is our dear president Barack Obama. As President Obama said last year on the south side there is real baseball.

Who am I to argue with the President?

I always get angry at the various baseball previews so I thought why not I will write my own so here we go. I will add the poetic to each;

National League East

The teams of the NL East are varied. They include the New York Mets, who are now rather poetically playing in a replica of Ebbets Field and just for the gesture of the Jackie Robinson Rotunda should be lauded, the Philadelphia Phillies whose new ball park is great, the Washington Nationals who are so bad they are channeling the 1962 Mets, the Atlanta Braves who play in a great ballpark in a city where no one cares and the Florida Marlins who have won two world series and whose fan base would rather not sit outside in the summer pea soup to see them win.

Here are my Picks

New York

National League Central

The NL Central is what I like to call the pathetic division because it contains the Cubs and the Pirates. It is made up with the Chicago Cubs whose fanbase and go Cubs go song is so annoying that I want to rip the skin off my face every time I hear it, to the magisterial St Louis Cardinals whose whole franchise oozes Stan Musial and class, to the Milwaukee Brewers whose stadium is a delight and everyone in America should see the Klement’s Sausage race once. The Houston Astros who we (White Sox) crushed in the World Series but hell you have access to great barbecue and strip clubs in Houston to finally poor pathetic Pittsburgh which makes one want to clone Roberto Clemente so that Pittsburghers can remember what greatness is. H

Here are my Picks

St Louis

National League West

In contrast to the NL Central the NL West is the Happy Division. Who would not be happy to play your games in Baseball’s prettiest stadium, (Dodger Stadium), Baseballs best positioned park (ATT Park in SF), its best Dome, Chase Field in Houston, its highest park, Coors Field or its nicest city San Diego with its enormous Petco Park? Where the NL Central is filled with Angst the NL West is just happy and why not?

Here are my Picks

San Francisco
Los Angeles
San Diego

American League East

Now we move to the Major Leagues. The American League East is made up of the two teams that ESPN spends all its airtime on, the Yankees and Red Sox and three other teams that they ignore. The fact is however that this is a great division but that the Yankees recent spending spree will end up for nothing and in the end Joe Girardi will spend the off season in Evanston with his sick father looking for a job. By the way they built a new Yankee Stadium where the priciest seat is $3400 dollars I bet allot of those have been sold.

Here are my Picks

Tampa Bay
New York

American League Central

Our division could best be called the recession division. With Chicago, Detroit, and Cleveland all bearing the brunt of the Great Recession I wonder how many tickets get sold? I am unemployed but I am going next Saturday (Cannot keep me away from a Sox/Twins game. But for those of us in the division it is a comfortable place. No need for the drama or $200 a plate steakhouses of the AL East and no pathos of the NL Central we just grind it out and oh how I HATE the Twins and the Indians….

Here are my Picks

Chicago (Of course)
Kansas City

American League West

I like to call this my nobody cares division. The fact is that no one cares. This division is made up of teams that are second in each of their markets with little history. The LA Angels play in Orange County with the plasticine people, the Oakland A’s play in an empty stadium, Seattle Mariners have Ichiro and a great park and the Texas Rangers used to be owned by George Bush I think that says enough.

Here are My Picks

Los Angeles


NL Round 1

Chicago v. New York
San Francisco v. St Louis


Chicago v. St Louis

NL Champion
St Louis


AL Round 1

Boston v. Chicago
Tampa v. Oakland


Boston v. Tampa

AL Champion

So now go out there and enjoy the season even if you are unemployed the Radio is still free and hot dogs are cheap and the thrill of the grass makes it all feel a little better.

Or as Luke Appling said even when we were 20 games out and the nation had 20% unemployment you could enjoy a line drive just the same.

I say amen to that….


R.J. ABAD said...

Hey, you should try It’s a simple forum that’s been having a really good audience discussing global recession. You should make your say there to fight recession.

Mark said...


Just trying to make me laugh with some of these picks. ;) The NL Central is weak, and while I don't expect you to pick the Cubs (because that would cause you physical pain, I'm sure), I'm certainly curious how the largely unimproved St.Louis Cardinals -- who didn't make the playoffs last year -- are supposed to win the NLCS this year?

I tend to avoid predictions simply because baseball is too dependent on players *not* getting injured. Take Tampa Bay -- a couple of injuries and that team is in the cellar. Or counting out Joe Torres' Dodgers? Sure, SF has good pitching, but again, everybody has to stay healthy. They don't have much in terms of offense.

Revisit your predictions in June -- see how they're taking shape.

Vincetastic said...

These are pretty legitimate picks, with the exception of the Giants winning the NL West, no way that happens. I’m looking forward to this year’s season, should be another good one. I made a top ten list of my projections for the regular season results: I think my picks are solid, if you don’t agree you can actually change the order by voting.